Leading in Complexity: What Modern Leaders Can Learn From Coaching (and Why I'm Coaching Myself Out of a Job)

Let’s face it: the modern workplace is a bit of a circus. Deadlines, restructures, strategy updates nobody reads, and the ever-present hum of "we must do more with less." It’s chaotic. It’s political. It’s exhausting. And the classic leadership playbook? It’s quietly sobbing in the stationery cupboard.

What organisations need now is something a bit different – not more rules, but more relational intelligence. Less barking orders, more curious listening. Basically, what we need is more leaders who coach. And yes, I realise that encouraging everyone to take a coaching approach is a bit like baking my own redundancy cake. But here we are.

Here’s the kicker, though – while I’m out here banging the drum for better leadership, too many managers are still clinging to command-and-control like it’s the last biscuit in the tin. Meanwhile, their staff are going off sick, dreading Mondays, or quietly polishing their LinkedIn profiles during Zoom calls. People don’t want to come back to the office, not just because of the commute, but because they’re not enjoying work. They don’t feel safe, valued, or heard. And it’s driving me quietly round the bend.

Let me tell you about Lauren.

We worked together through a rough patch: full-on burnout, baffling comms from above, and that special kind of organisational culture where everyone’s too polite to admit it's all a bit broken. But coaching helped her do something most leaders struggle with: pause, reflect, and then take meaningful action.

Here’s what really made the difference – and why all leaders might want to nick these moves (please do, it keeps me humble).

1. Listen properly. No fixing, no fast-forwarding.

Most people don’t need a superhero. They need a human. When Lauren felt lost, it wasn’t about leaping in with the answer. It was about giving her space to say the messy stuff out loud without being rescued. Turns out, holding space is underrated – and cheaper than another away day.

2. Get curious, not controlling.

We think leadership is about having answers. Actually, it’s often about asking better questions. Not those faux-deep ones like "what keeps you up at night?" (unless it’s actual foxes), but ones that help people think: What do you really need? What’s getting in the way? This is how people grow. And if you're thinking "but that takes longer," it does. But so does hiring someone new when your team member burns out.

3. Don’t tidy up the mess too soon.

There’s this reflex to make things neat: wrap up meetings with a tidy bow, make decisions before the kettle boils. But Lauren’s breakthrough came when we stopped trying to clean up the chaos and just sat with it. Leaders who can tolerate ambiguity (and the odd awkward silence) tend to help others find real clarity. Also, let’s be honest – most of work is ambiguous. Might as well get good at it.

4. See the person, not just the performance.

Lauren’s dip in confidence wasn’t a performance issue. It was a people issue. She needed space to rebuild her sense of worth and reimagine what she actually wanted from her job. Supporting the human behind the role? Radical, I know. But apparently, humans do better when they feel seen. Who knew?

5. Make space for reflection.

When Lauren got the chance to pause and think, everything changed. Not overnight. But she started asking better questions, making smarter moves, and even enjoying work again. Reflection is free, deeply underrated, and doesn’t require a Slack plugin. Leaders, take note.

So what’s the point of all this?

The best leaders today aren’t the ones with the loudest voice or the flashiest five-year plan. They’re the ones who know how to coach others into clarity. They ask more than they answer. They stay calm when it’s chaotic. They create room for people to figure things out, even if it takes a bit longer.

And if we all did that? Well... I might be out of a job. But honestly? That wouldn’t be the worst thing. Because a workplace full of thoughtful, reflective, curious humans who support one another? That’s the kind of place we all want to work.

(But do keep me on speed dial, just in case.)